Saturday, 2 June 2007

Bladder Wars

This morning I drank four cups of coffee, then bought a bottle of Coke, drank half of it then had sugarcane juice for lunch. Then I made my way to HSA building to donate BELAAARD.

Before donating BELAAARD, the doc would usually ask a few questions and today she asked if I could donate plasma instead of BELAAARD. The process would take around a hour and a half compared to the usual five minutes. I thought for a while. I have a 70 yr old bladder and the thought of sitting in one place for more than 15 minutes is actully a tough decision I have to make. I finally agreed. I told the doc I was going to take a leak first.

I entered the room, placed my bag down and sat on the couch/bed thingy, got up again, went out of the room to the toilet, took another leak and got back in. I was all set now.

There's a mini monitor for every 'station' and I could choose between Casino Royale, Eragon and Blood Diamonds. I declined the offer, though I have not seen any of these movies and instead chose to listen to METAL on my discman.

Some nurse lady explained to me the process and said it would take around 6-7 cycles. I was hoping 6 since my bladder was already sending danger singnals to my head. As the process started, I switched on my discman and watched Casino Royale on the monitor belonging to the next bed. I had no idea what was going on but Daniel Craig looks like he makes a good Bond.

When the 4th cycle was starting, the nurse came along , looked at the screen on the plasma extracting android and screamed excitedly, " Mwhahahaha, looks like it's going to be 8 cycles. Mwhahahaha!" Okay, that did not really happen, but might as well.

When the 8th cycle was starting, I asked the nurse as she creeped across me if it was the last cycle. " Yesssssss" she hissed "Next time , it will be 80 cycles. Mwhahahahahaha!"

After the Bladder Torture ordeal, I went to the toilet, took a leak, washed my hands, took a leak again, washed my hands and left for Chinatown to reward myself with a cup of coffee.

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